New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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