What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You took a bar mat shot.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
