your parents love me but you hate me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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