I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
