Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize