I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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