Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
