"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
