I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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