This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
