Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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