How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
