I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
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Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
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Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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