remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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