On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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