you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize