I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
