i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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