The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
