Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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