I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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