dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
