We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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