She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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