It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
