If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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