These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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