maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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