Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
