I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize