just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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