Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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