well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Every concussion has its silver lining
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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