The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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