I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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