It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
