Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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