I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Randomize
