I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
