I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize