you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
