Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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