I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
