You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
