He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
