Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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