no, he came in my armpit
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
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How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He has the fingertips of a God
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