what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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