I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
