remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
