You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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