Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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