The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
