I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
