I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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