great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
