I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
