Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
