i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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