I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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