her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
