I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
