theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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