Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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