i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize